The 5 Best Movie Side Boobs

December 13, 2011

God bless the side boob. That magical middleground between innocent cleavage and full-on bare-breasted glory. And yet, while the NSFW designation of a good side boob is often in the eye of the beholder, there’s arguably something more scandalous – something infinitely more seductive and satisfying – inherent in the side boob than in a head-on nipple exposure.

Hollywood knows it, and for decades, film editors everywhere have been giving us juuuuust enough mammaries to whet our appetites. Here are some of the most tantalizing takes that have been keeping sofa cushions on the laps of 13-year-old boys for years.

Elisabeth Shue in Cocktail (1988)

Here’s the problem with Elisabeth Shue in Cocktail (and practically every other movie we see her in). You don’t want to just get her in the sack -- you want her to be your girlfriend. You want to take her out for taco salads and a baseball game, and then introduce her to your mother. She’s just so maddeningly charming. Which is why, back in 1988, when she and Tom Cruise fooled around under a waterfall in Jamaica, it was practically malicious when she dropped this gem of a side boob on us – fulfilling both our Madonna and whore fantasies all in one.

Jennifer Aniston in Rumor Has It (2005)

Jennifer Aniston has been teasing us with her sweater kittens ever since a little show called Friends. But the taunt has become increasingly cruel over the years, ultimately culminating in this piece of side boob history, delivered ever so briefly in the otherwise forgettable Rumor Has It.

Scarlett Johansson in A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004)

In A Love Song for Bobby Long, a jaded teenage loner returns to her childhood home in New Orleans upon hearing of her mother's death, and”¦ well, we don’t care. Frankly, most of us wouldn’t have made it past the title of the film and John Travolta’s top billing had we not known that the beautiful Johansson was a part of the deal. And boy oh boy was our curiosity and patience rewarded on this one.

Julia Stiles in Edmond (2005)

The sexiness of Julia Stiles grew on us over the years. We weren’t quite sure of her back in 1999’s 10 Things I Hate About You. She was just a little too boyish”¦ perhaps a bit emasculating for our tastes. But we hung in there with her, and we’re glad we did. By 2005’s Edmond, we were prepared to log this bit of footage in the ol’ spank bank (due in no small part to the side boob-panty combo).

Carrie-Anne Moss in Red Planet (2000)

There’s nothing quite as sexy as the moment when a tough-as-nails female character reminds you that she is, in fact, all woman under that space suit. And that woman needs to shower.

Catherine Zeta-Jones in High Fidelity (2000)

It seems only appropriate to end on the side boob appearance in a movie whose sole message revolves around the cruel tease that is love. And nothing embodies that tease within this John Cusack vehicle quite like the minx played by Catherine Zeta-Jones – the woman who shows only what she wants to show, and knows exactly what effect it has on her intended audience.


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