The Dumbest Things Said by 2012 Republican Candidates

March 27, 2012

Let’s face it: When it comes to politicians putting their feet in their mouths, it’s never going to get as good as it did, from an entertainment perspective, with George W. Bush. But, that said, it’s pretty much impossible for a political candidate to hit the campaign trail without, at some point, uttering something completely asinine in public.

So, for our own amusement, as well as some insight into the people who want to be your next commander in chief, let’s take a look at some of the most facepalm-inducing statements to come out of the mouths of the current Republican presidential candidates.

Newt Gingrich

"Go get a job after you take a bath."

Now, we all know that Republicans hate the dirty hippies. But they usually know better than to be so blatant about it. But in November 2011, Newt Gingrich decided not to mince words when he made the above comment in reference to the Occupy Wall Street protesters.

“There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate."

Every man who cheats on his wife tries to make excuses. But very few have the balls to claim that they were driven by their love of America. But in March 2011, that’s exactly the card that Gingrich tried to play when explaining why he cheated on his first two wives.

"I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age, they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American."

Now, we all love a drama queen. And in this March 2011 quote, Gingrich certainly decided to go big. But since when are radical Islamists interested in establishing an atheist country?

Ron Paul

"Every time you think about the fence, think about the fences being used against us, keeping us in."

OK, so lots of people have a problem with the notion of building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico to secure the border. But not necessarily for the reason that Ron Paul put forth in September 2011 -- the idea that the fence would keep Americans in, rather than illegals out.

"You want to get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let's just get rid of all the drug laws."

Just file this quote under the “duh” heading.

Mitt Romney

"I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed."

Did you really say this to a group of unemployed Floridians, Mitt? Really? How many millions are you worth?

"Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans, but I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners."

This was Romney’s response when asked if he follows NASCAR. Please stop trying to relate to the average American, Mitt. For everyone’s sake.

“I’m not saying anything one way or the other about the two ballot issues. I am not speaking about the particular ballot issues. Those are up to the people of Ohio. But I certainly support the efforts of the governor to reign in the scale of government. I am not terribly familiar with the two ballot initiatives. But I am certainly supportive of the Republican Party’s efforts here.”

We humbly request that you at least pretend to know something about the initiatives that you do or don’t support, Mitt. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Rick Santorum

"President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob... Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image.”

So, college is either: A) a place for only the super arrogant or B) Obama-clone breeding grounds. Either way, we’re pretty sure Santorum is vicariously calling your parents and guidance counselor “assholes” due to the educational aspirations they harbor for you.

“Earlier in my political career, I had the opportunity to read the speech, and I almost threw up.”

This was Santorum’s reaction to JFK's 1960 speech about the importance of separation of church and state. Or the tuna salad he had for lunch that day. We’re not certain.

"Well if that human life is not a person then I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say 'now we are going to decide who are people and who are not people.'"

So we can take this quote one of two ways. “Hey, black folks. Ya’ll better be pro-life. Or, “Only us white folks should be deciding who are people.” Take your pick.


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